Shadows stand in place of day Cold and damp where you lay So wrap your arms around your ghosts Pretending that they'll keep you warm

Stretch the clocks to set a bomb Head to head with this dead aplomb Reddened are these hands of mine Fed up with these broken lines Got to get it going before it stays Mark my words today'll be the day I'll say What a fine day to change I can't keep on living life this way Well it feels somewhat strange Feels something's bout to change Stumbling, the morning light Slips right past the sharp air of night East to West, the Sun and the Moon Release me from these exit wounds Got to keep on going for the gray So I can live to see the coming day I'll say What a fine day to change I can't keep on living life this way And it feels somewhat strange To say that I could take this all away But you keep it all to yourself No one's gonna be there for your health Can't keep clinging onto this shell Before I'm dead I'll shed off this Every bit of hell

Buried my head under the sand Never ceased the rolling tide So I buried my head in the palms of my hands Rubbed the dirt right in my eyes You carry me in and out on a limb Cause you hate to see me fall behind I'll say carry me when I'm healthy again I'll hold my tongue til I've made up my mind Trapped by fate in a stalemate You're giving your all but you can't escape Pray to God so he'll set it straight At least you'll smile at the golden gates Blessed by burdens to demonstrate Your will to live and regenerate But you're growing thin Flitting around like a butterfly Then like a bee with a one track mind I follow your stride as I'm sleep deprived Cause I don't want to leave your side Cause there's something I realized You always gave me all of your time How could I have been so blind A name that's simply meant to bind Bound by name to a losing game Can't decide where to hide your shame In the arms of the enemy Or in my arms til the end of me I locked my door so you hesitate To try again so you meditate But you've hit another wall

Give me seven days We may just see the sun But I didn't know what else to say Cause I'd seen the wilting had already begun And didn't I neglect to pull ahead I'd always found myself to drag along And didn't I forget to hold your head When I promised you that I'd stay strong Here I am again Lying in my den Give me seven days Before I let you go Will I clip these beautiful binds So you can go find a better garden But what if I can't stop the bleeding I fear our hearts may harden Give me seven days Would we even survive And if the clouds don't clear away How long will we thrive So I've made up my mind Seven's just a waste of time It'd just add up to a week of pretty lies So I'm cutting off my ties I'm cutting off my ties

You've come undone Give one, take none You can't run broken Or you'll become the poison So hold on Look ahead Even if it's just another wall Don't isolate yourself Instead, consolidate Let your fences fall Come again You said you'd bend backward Dive into the deep end But the world isn't just Our hearts we'll send Only to find that dust Will thrive where we began So hold on Check your head You've been here before Making the same amends Maybe it's time you let this go Besides you'll find it hard to start on a broken leg

Thought I knew what I was doing Thought I was shielding you from the world As well as from myself Took the liberty of welcoming peripety Despite what you said to me About this fragile thing that beats itself up So very often I could blame it on Naivety, apathy, necessity or self-pity But I'm bleeding any way Fold my cards now Sold my soul down to Animus so long ago For a broken noose and now I'm broke I know it seems so useless now but There are still some bridges left unburned Would you humor me and meet me at the ledge Dear Anima, I've made a fool out of you For reasons I can't clarify I'm not gonna lie, I lied to you Gave you hope that I'd come round Instead I left and let you drown Don't you see that empathy's so over me I wanna be a better man but It's tougher to risk suffering than to go out with Half a heart bleeding through my sleeve But I guess I could start I just need to breathe Sweet little bird Swept me off my feet To ethereal clouds I vowed to keep discreet And I did, I did But I did my little bid adieu Before you knew that what I do best Is fly right away Don't question if it was real You know it was But I need some time to find myself because I'm lost in a haze of my low self-opinion Yeah I know it's a crutch But I'll find my way Palomita, I apologize for breaking you And leaving you to fend for yourself I wish happiness and health to you Maybe I should keep some for myself I'm still much too young and too naive to know what I really need So just go Don't wait on me Do what you've got to do to get on Go on

Wet the clay lest you turn to stone Yet every day it doesn't seem you've grown Shoved away by your own control Love everyone but your own damn soul But you're still here Despite all your fears You make it hard for your heart to say What it wants you to hear So which road will you take Knowing full-well that the stakes are Higher than anticipated Stop running in place Bit your tongue at the sound of a gun Surrendered as soon as you started to run Spit at the ground and curse at the sun Look around You're really the only one But it's all right You can't always fight These wretched demons Fastened tightly to your sides Don't take it lightly but Take it in stride After all, your wounds will heal in due time

(45.1236487, -93.2765419) This is where I had planned to end my life during 2014. I was lucky to be given the opportunity to move 1000 miles away to live with other family members and escape the abuse I had been experiencing for my entire adolescence. If not, I don't know that I would still be alive today. Thank you for listening. If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, I have this to say: I know that it seems like you are doomed to have a terrible future, but the reality is that no matter what your struggles are, there are countless opportunities to find peace if you continue to live. When we say that we don't want to live any more, what we really want is not to die, but to live peaceful lives. It's hard to survive, but small things can help. Spend time with loved ones, meet new people, be compassionate to yourself, try new things, be close to nature, learn about decolonization. All of these things help. You will experience ups and downs but you will learn how to balance the pain and the joy in your life, the older you get. I named this album after a written passage that helped me find peace during my deep depression: "Trying and giving up go hand in hand. But it’s trying that deserves the attention of our will. Giving up is just breathing out. Breathing in is the one we need to remember to do. Breathing out naturally follows. The important thing is just to keep breathing. To try and then just go through all that happens, including not trying. And so we hold our breath sometimes. These things aren’t problems. They are just living. As long as the message you send yourself is that it is important to you to be guided by the creative force inside you, in the long run you are on the same path as the sun. Of course you’ll seem to go up and down, and be in darkness and light. That’s life. The reality of it is that you are a shining star circling through space all the time. So by making your own circular actions (doing some creative or educational activity consistently) you will naturally become more of what you really are. And you are that already. It’s just a game to learn to be it more completely amidst environment, and the illusions of constant change and separateness. One entirety of everything is all there is, ever was, and ever will be." - John Frusciante

There's a word for every time I Project my fears onto everyone's face It's cynicism And like a shadow it tempts me to Brandish all my instincts I fight or fly away Guess we're all isolated in some way Look back into the mirror and ask Where did we go astray In a mass of terra cotta bodies Vacant gazes posed along these Caves of dancing shadows Led away from the sun's direction Reflect on these poisonous behaviors Save yourself another isolated day Dreaming of a weeping siren Symbolizing Anima's resentment for defeated silence Beneath me lies a frightened violence Reincarnate son of tyrants Born into a line of serpents Shedding off their skins but Never surrendering themselves to metamorphosis Instead, we feed our cerberuses and orthruses and hope for resurrection Reflect on these poisonous behaviors Save your self-pity for another day Save yourself

I watched them sailing on separate shores Caught in the breaking waves under our oars I watched them drowning in currents so low Dove in to find me swept in the undertow Way down Way down Way down I feel alone Way down Way down Way down Way down Way down I feel at home Awake from the nightmare The darkness has faded Now there's light there It's so far away I'm keeping my pace I know there's a time and a place For fighting and disrepair But it's so hard laying still I got so much time to kill It's drifting away...